Introducing KATHLEEN

 

The Elephant in my room ends with me and has been born out of my passion for healing from my own life experiences. As the saying goes, “the elephant in the room”, she is about helping others to uncover and discuss their shame and guilt. I am about giving you permission to talk openly and honestly about anything that general society judges and frowns upon. It’s a difficult thing to talk about experiences such as being sexually abused, considering or attempting suicide, hating ourselves, having addictions and the list goes on. It's even difficult to talk about being fat or having an eating disorder or whatever your experiences are, and hearing yourself say those words, with the weight of the shame and guilt you carry being overwhelming.

There has been abuse of varying sorts throughout several generations of women in my family including myself. I feel like I began this life already overweight with the burden of 6 brothers before me and parents who constantly fought and argued. I have no recollection of any time in childhood when I wasn't thinking about, or being concerned for someone or something. With that I carried a huge responsibility to always be aware of those around me and their needs. I've never experienced only thinking about myself and what I needed. I didn't know any different, therefore believed it was how life was. Throughout life if people didn't also behave in this way, I'd judge it as being very disrespectful and unkind or uncaring.

I was named ‘Kathleen Marguerite’. My dear aunt ‘Kathleen’ who is my namesake, collected elephants (always with their trunks up so her luck never ran out). She was violently beaten by her first husband. She lost her baby girl days after birth as a result of the trauma and injuries he’d caused when kicking and beating her in the stomach while pregnant. Despite that, I only ever knew her to be a kind, giving, caring, generous and understanding woman. My mother who trusted in her sister, to take care of me when I was first born, so she could have a hysterectomy and recover from surgery while also taking care of 3 of my younger brothers, with the older 3 already left home, regretted and resented to the day she died, that I bonded with my aunt more than her.

My mother, a sadly complicated woman who was also sexually abused as a child, was faithfully committed to her jealousy, misery, resentment and self loathing until the day she took her last breath. Her way of dealing with her ‘stuff’ was to become the abuser. Although most people outside of our home were either unaware or turning a blind eye.  Smiling and submissive whenever challenged with the truth and aggressively abusive behind the closed doors. I want to add though, she was a wonderful grandmother to my daughter, in ways she was unable to be a mother to me and that was a gift.

My grandmother, ‘Marguerite Daisy’, named after the marguerite daisy flower and also my namesake, who I did not really know that well as she passed when I was 9, has been described as a tough woman. The biggest compliment ever received from one of my older siblings, that I was a lot like ‘Daisy’, as people knew her as. In contrast, another older sibling who expressed his insecurities with derogatory and abusive language. He always referred to me as a ‘baby elephant’. My childhood family was all about lies, cheating, stealing and sweeping the truth under the carpet to hide the elephants in the room. They have always been uncomfortable about me speaking up and especially with anything that resembles the truth. They are my biggest inspiration to keep speaking up with my truth and now to inspire and support others to speak up with their truth and heal.

You'll notice Daisy Elephant is in a yoga pose as it was yoga which really kicked off my weight loss because my body enjoyed it so much. Embodiment – Yoga was the movement that taught me how to connect with my body like never before. Now I only do exercise that I enjoy and my body loves. A ‘Marguerite Daisy’ crown worn proudly upon her head as I embrace and step into my queendom years. Her vibrant colour of purple that’s been with me from as far back as I can remember, my childhood bedroom was decorated with lavender walls and two tones of purple bedspreads. I love all colours but purple has always been my most favourite.

As The Light Elephant Coach, doing this work, I continue to heal that wounded space, that these women have trusted me with, knowing I have the tools and knowledge. I am committed to this not only for them but more importantly for the two women that follow on from me, my daughter Marguerite and my granddaughter Oakleigh. It is my hope that they never accept being treated less than they deserve by anyone and especially by the men who cross their path and that they always find the courage to speak their truth no matter what. It is an absolute privilege and honour to be trusted and working in this space with beautiful women all over the world, near and far.

And that is the story behind The Light Elephant Coach and Daisy Elephant ❤

It's time to take up more shame free space in the world by speaking and living your truth in a smaller or bigger or happier, healthier, accepted, loved body!

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