A family friend shared with me about one of her life changing experiences which was meeting her husband. Having raised her daughter, now 22 years of age, on her own from the age of 17 she had spent many years contemplating her ideal partner in life. Most of her friends were married with families of their own, she didn’t have mates to go out with to places where she could meet new people or even a potential partner. Her then teenage daughter was also still a priority and responsibility, so she decided to talk to people on the internet via dating sites. Talking to people on the internet and mostly men, became a part of her social life. She made many wonderful friends and was able to learn a lot about men and what they wanted from women. She always believed the best way of learning how to be the best partner she could be was to talk and learn from men themselves. After quite a number of years of learning and searching she not only realised exactly what she wanted in a partner, but also that she needed to get to know herself.

This meant being prepared to learn how to give all the things to herself that she wanted from her ideal partner. She came to believe that if she couldn’t love herself for who she was then why would or should another person want to. She had done a lot of personal development over the years and was always prepared to continue with this as it’s like peeling off layers of an onion getting to know her real self within. It was always important to her to never settle for anyone less than what she believed she deserved. This was despite friends constantly telling her that her expectations were too high and that she was too fussy. She kept believing in herself and her lifelong dream of being happy with someone who added to her life rather than completed her life. In July of 2006 she attended another personal development training and gave it her absolute all. After completion of that training, she admits that she’d finally got to that feeling within herself that she loved who she was enough to be totally happy on her own. That same training involved writing a script of her ‘ideal’ partner in life as though she’d already met him.

Two months later she met this guy and initially wasn’t really that sure about him. After three weeks of dating and at times looking for reasons why he was not the one, something changed. He rode motor bikes and he invited her to go on a bike ride with him. That was the weekend when she realised they clicked and she never wanted to be apart from him. From then on, the more she got to know him, the more she realised he was exactly the person she had written about in her script.

She had started a new job at the beginning of that year, taking leave without pay from a secure job that she’d been in for 14yrs. A month after they’d met, it was time to decide to resign or return to the permanent job. She decided to take the risk and resign. Three weeks after resigning from her permanent job, her current job ended due to the new company she was working with going financially broke. Her new boyfriend was supportive and she remained positive about getting another job fairly quickly. However, by the end of that year she was still looking for work and it was getting more and more challenging to survive financially in her current situation, with her daughter still living at home part time in between staying with her own boyfriend. Early in 2007 her daughter was planning with her boyfriend to buy a home and move in together and this came to fruition. After a lot of contemplating and talking she decided that she would move also and live with her new boyfriend. By this time in their relationship, they were pretty much spending all their time together anyway. In early February of 2007, both this woman and her daughter moved out of their rental property to be with their partners. This was the first of many events that were life changing for her since meeting her new partner.

Up until currently, the chain of events that followed that initial moving house has been, moving from Adelaide to Murray Bridge which also included the separation from her daughter who she had spent 19yrs living with. They then moved from Murray Bridge to Mount Gambier, both without work and trusting that only good would follow their courage to take risks, which it did. At the end of that year they were married and life seemed so rich for her that she felt like the luckiest woman alive. In 2008 she got her motorbike licence and own motorbike. She also had eye surgery which gave her lens implants and after 33yrs of wearing glasses, was finally free of that burden. The eye surgery was inspired by plans to learn to scuba dive which she also did two weeks after the surgery.

There have been so many events and experiences that she has had since meeting her husband, that she’d never even contemplated doing in her life. She admits that during all these months of constant change, there were times that it was also difficult. The quiet moments of missing her daughter who she left behind in Adelaide, along with other friends and family and moving to a new town, over five hours away, where she didn’t know anyone.

To this day she believes the life changing moment was during that time of transformation with her personal development and truly learning to love and accept herself for who she was and that belief she could achieve anything she wanted. She also says that many things happen in our life and whether we perceive them to be good or bad, big or small, they can all be life changing. Being open to these kinds of things and learning from every experiences in life has the potential to change our current situation and provide new opportunities to continue learning and growing through life.

2 March 2009

PS The family friend is indeed me.